Well, I guess that last blog had to come out. I need to start doing what I haven't started yet. Getting over her. When that wireless card comes and I move my computer, we will barely see each other. She will spend most of her time in here, and I'll have no reason to come in here. She can do what she pleases, this will be her room to do whatever she likes. And I'll have my little room. There isn't much more cleaning to do in the rest of the house, it's shaping up pretty good. I need to focus on this room and the bedroom mostly right now. I'll still have to pick up here and there around the house, and I still have a lot of dishes and laundry to do, but I have to wait til I get the hot water fixed for that. And we can both move on. I'll be writing or reading most of the time, perhaps watching movies, but rarely.
I just don't want her to leave yet. I'm not ready yet. I need just a little more time to adjust. I've never lived alone, and I know I'm going to have to ... but I just need a transition. I need some time to be kind of alone, but not totally alone. I can't handle totally alone yet. I would slip back, become despondent. I know myself. I need slow adjustments. I know my strengths, I know what I can do, but I also know my weaknesses and know what I can't do. I just need more time to let go. I know I need to let go, and I'm going to let go, but I need the time to do it in a way that is healthy for me, in a way that I know I can handle.
I just had a very amusing (to me) mental image of a mash-up between Lord Of The Rings and Silence Of The Lambs. Gollum, as Buffalo Bill, leaning over the pit, looking panicked, it pans down to the girl holding Precious, the dog. Gollum says, "It puts The Precious in the b (Read More)
I am in desperate need of the catharsis one experiences upon slitting someone's throat with a razor-sharp blade followed by the joy and elation obtained from watching the life drift from their eyes turning them to dead, glassy orbs as I am filled with the energy that used t (Read More)
I rushed out of work at 5pm
Plopped my ass in my car again
Welcome to the land of lazyness,
hey, gotta get my rest in.
Started up the car
headed home for my free time
Look at the street and I see a really bad sign.
Traffic looks so crazy
Everybody's in my way, s (Read More)
I envy a person who can hear their alarm go off, turn it off, and get up out of bed, ready to start the day. I live by the snooze button. It is my best friend in the morning. Well, it and my coffee. I'd marry it if congress would hurry up and pass that bill legalizing m (Read More)
So, my car's wrecked, I told ya that. The bumper was precariously attached. It began to become unattached. I'll fix it with some Gorilla Glue just as soon as the snow is gone and the temperature is more moderate. For now, I removed it and placed it on my porch. So the (Read More)
The last few weeks have been kind of hectic and draining. Last Wednesday I wrecked my car. Hit a patch of ice, slid off the road, down a hill, into a pole. I wasn't hurt. The car was. I spent nearly a week with my brother-in-law trying to fix it. Had to replace the ra (Read More)
Depressed. And I'm quite tired of being depressed. There's no reason for me to be depressed. No logical reason, anyway. I'm insane, that's obvious. I have great friends. What's left of my family, my sister, brother, nephews and niece, et al, are wonderful. I'm w (Read More)
