I've been using the screen name artcre8or for far too long. It's time for a change, and I have come up with Alpha Seven. Seven is a good number, it is a lucky number, and it is a magic number. Also, if you put it along side another seven, it is my favorite number. 77 has long been my favorite of all numbers. There is a perverted inside joke to that, but aside from the joke, 77 truly is my favorite number for real reasons, not because of a joke. Seven rhymes with Kevin, and so does eleven. Seven times eleven is 77. And I am drawn to the number seven for reasons I do not know. And I am drawn more powerfully to the double seven, again, for reasons I do not know and cannot explain. And, I think, by now, if you read my blogs on a regular basis, we all know what Alpha means to me. If you don't read my blogs, then click on "Home" and get to reading, Fool!
The Alpha is one of seven dominant parts of my psyche, he is their leader. The Alpha rules over The Dark Man, The Child, Emo-Boy, Sabrina, Green Monster, and Wrath. So, Alpha Seven would be who I am as they all play together and find their places with the instruction and guidance of Alpha.
The Dark Man feeds off of Green Monster and Wrath, but they are very separate from him. Green Monster and Wrath can both take over from time to time and rule in their own right. The Dark Man is the state of mind I was in a month ago, and for about a year prior. Everything about him is dark, draining, soul sucking.
The Child also made many appearances over the past year or two. He is my inner child, and I think the death of my mother really brought him to the front. The Dark Man could hold the child at bay, but if the Dark Man was not feeling dominant, The Child would emerge and control me. He is very needy. He needs constant comfort and acceptance. He likes to have his way and throws tantrums.
Emo-Boy is not bad. He is my emotions, the good ones. He controls my love, my tears, and all things that are good and healthy.
Sabrina is a girl. Sabrina is the part of me that likes all things that girls like. Chick flicks, rainbows, unicorns, flowers, etc. She has controlled me as well from time to time. Yeah, sometimes I'm just a big girl. She's the only one with an actual name.
Green Monster is my Jealousy. He is growing weaker. Jealousy is actually hard for me to muster these days. It is, in my opinion, a silly emotion that has absolutely no value. Green Monster has controlled me very much from time to time in the past. But Green Monster has taken his place inside of me, and is easily overridden by the logic and wisdom of The Alpha.
Wrath is ... Wrath. He is hatred, bitterness, revenge, murder death kill. Wrath is still very strong. Wrath will always need to be carefully dealt with, as he is powerful and dangerous. Wrath scares me above all others. He is like the Incredible Hulk. When he gains power, nothing can stop him, not even Alpha. He can shove Alpha aside and take over whenever he wants.
So that's it. That is AlphaSeven. That is me, in a nutshell ("No, this is me in a nutshell: Help, let me out of this nutshell, how did I get into this nutshell?"). So, these seven will be mentioned in future blogs, I'm sure. But to know who they are and what they mean, you'll have to return to this compendium. Perhaps I'll link it when I mention them.
I just had a very amusing (to me) mental image of a mash-up between Lord Of The Rings and Silence Of The Lambs. Gollum, as Buffalo Bill, leaning over the pit, looking panicked, it pans down to the girl holding Precious, the dog. Gollum says, "It puts The Precious in the b (Read More)
I am in desperate need of the catharsis one experiences upon slitting someone's throat with a razor-sharp blade followed by the joy and elation obtained from watching the life drift from their eyes turning them to dead, glassy orbs as I am filled with the energy that used t (Read More)
I rushed out of work at 5pm
Plopped my ass in my car again
Welcome to the land of lazyness,
hey, gotta get my rest in.
Started up the car
headed home for my free time
Look at the street and I see a really bad sign.
Traffic looks so crazy
Everybody's in my way, s (Read More)
I envy a person who can hear their alarm go off, turn it off, and get up out of bed, ready to start the day. I live by the snooze button. It is my best friend in the morning. Well, it and my coffee. I'd marry it if congress would hurry up and pass that bill legalizing m (Read More)
So, my car's wrecked, I told ya that. The bumper was precariously attached. It began to become unattached. I'll fix it with some Gorilla Glue just as soon as the snow is gone and the temperature is more moderate. For now, I removed it and placed it on my porch. So the (Read More)
The last few weeks have been kind of hectic and draining. Last Wednesday I wrecked my car. Hit a patch of ice, slid off the road, down a hill, into a pole. I wasn't hurt. The car was. I spent nearly a week with my brother-in-law trying to fix it. Had to replace the ra (Read More)
Depressed. And I'm quite tired of being depressed. There's no reason for me to be depressed. No logical reason, anyway. I'm insane, that's obvious. I have great friends. What's left of my family, my sister, brother, nephews and niece, et al, are wonderful. I'm w (Read More)
