I had fun today. Went and saw Capitalism, the new Michael Moore documentary with my friend Tony and then we went to eat at a small little Mexican place. One of the really real ones, tiny little place with things like tongue and octopus on the menu. I don't order that stuff, I got a chicken quesadilla. The chips were hand made, and they whipped up Tony's guacamole after he ordered it. Talk about fresh. That was NOT scooped out of a can.
I like having emotions again, even though I really can't watch anything without tearing up at some point if there is any humanity in it at all. I teared up like three times during the movie. I admit this because I like it. I like feeling. I went so long without feeling anything at all, I really enjoy being able to care again. It also gave me a lot to think about. I read a lot about politics, I have for years, so there really was no new information in the movie for me. But Michael Moore sure knows how to put the ideas together into a cohesive package. For the past year or so I've been trying to figure out if I'm a total socialist, or if I just like some aspects of socialism. I think this movie brought me one step closer to possibly admitting that I might just be socialist. Now, for those of you who think "socialism" is a dirty word, let me tell you, socialism has nothing to do with democracy. It is not one or the other. It is very possible to have a good socialist government and maintain the same level of democracy we have, and I dare say, even make things more democratic. People tend to confuse socialism with communism, and they are NOT the same thing. Put quite simply, if you are one of the 98% of Americans who are not ridiculously filthy rich, it would be good for you. And about those billionaires? Fuck them. Fuck them all. "But, but but, they earned their money!" Did they? No, they lied, cheated and stole it from the rest of us. Period. And even if they had "earned" it, nobody needs that much, especially when there are children starving in the streets. Anyway, enough soapboxing, I'll step down. MM does it better than me, go see his film.
The Mexican place was nice. Small, but nice. We had a very cute waitress. She caught me looking at her chest and smiled at me. Yeah, yeah, I know, she wanted a good tip. lol. It was still nice. And it was nice when she came outside after we had gotten in the car and started dancing around on the sidewalk and shaking her butt around. Nice after dinner show.
We picked the right day to hang out, because when I got there his Internet had gone out, and we managed to get that back online, so that was cool. He probably thinks I feel like I was put to work, but actually, I was glad to help and I had fun helping to figure things out. I like a good technical problem that needs solving, as long as when all is said and done the problem is solved.
Ya know, sometimes I hate being a Gemini. It's been fine, having someone to bounce ideas off of, someone to help make decisions. How the hell do Geminis make decisions on their own? My mind changes from day to day. My opinions change from day to day. Not drastically, just ... ugh. I need to get a job. I have far too much free time. I can't remember the last time I wanted to work. But I do now, I want to work. I know I want that. And I want to finish my novel and I want to get published.
And I know I want to try out being single. It's been so long since I was single, 14 years, and back then I hated it and didn't want to be single. I was single by circumstance, not by choice. Well, again it is by circumstance, but remaining that way will be by choice. And I want it now. I want to spend some time single. How much time, I don't know. I just want to be free. I want to have fun and be free and be able to do whatever I want without having to explain my actions to anyone. But how do you even willfully stay single if you meet someone you really want to be with? Life is full of risks. You risk realizing later, "Oh, that's who I want to be with!" But guess what? Too late, they've found someone else and moved on now. Now they are happy and you can't stop thinking about them and you could have had them before. But I think that's a risk I'm going to have to take. Because even if there is someone wonderful right off the bat, I really need to experience being single. I am not a promiscuous person, and I don't plan to be, either. That's just not me. Maybe for a while there, a couple of weeks ago, I thought that might have sounded appealing, but it really doesn't. I have never been the type of person to jump into the sack with a stranger, and I'm certainly not going to start now.
But, choices, that was my point. Damn Gemini making choices. I'll be faced with all these choices when it comes to relationships and whatnot, and at some point I'll have to choose one while forsaking any other current choice or future choice. When it comes to relationships, at least the way I think of them, choosing one eliminates the others. Ugh. Oh well, I don't even have to think about this right now. This stuff is down the road. Right now, I'm single. And I'm going to have fun with that.
I just had a very amusing (to me) mental image of a mash-up between Lord Of The Rings and Silence Of The Lambs. Gollum, as Buffalo Bill, leaning over the pit, looking panicked, it pans down to the girl holding Precious, the dog. Gollum says, "It puts The Precious in the b (Read More)
I am in desperate need of the catharsis one experiences upon slitting someone's throat with a razor-sharp blade followed by the joy and elation obtained from watching the life drift from their eyes turning them to dead, glassy orbs as I am filled with the energy that used t (Read More)
I rushed out of work at 5pm
Plopped my ass in my car again
Welcome to the land of lazyness,
hey, gotta get my rest in.
Started up the car
headed home for my free time
Look at the street and I see a really bad sign.
Traffic looks so crazy
Everybody's in my way, s (Read More)
I envy a person who can hear their alarm go off, turn it off, and get up out of bed, ready to start the day. I live by the snooze button. It is my best friend in the morning. Well, it and my coffee. I'd marry it if congress would hurry up and pass that bill legalizing m (Read More)
So, my car's wrecked, I told ya that. The bumper was precariously attached. It began to become unattached. I'll fix it with some Gorilla Glue just as soon as the snow is gone and the temperature is more moderate. For now, I removed it and placed it on my porch. So the (Read More)
The last few weeks have been kind of hectic and draining. Last Wednesday I wrecked my car. Hit a patch of ice, slid off the road, down a hill, into a pole. I wasn't hurt. The car was. I spent nearly a week with my brother-in-law trying to fix it. Had to replace the ra (Read More)
Depressed. And I'm quite tired of being depressed. There's no reason for me to be depressed. No logical reason, anyway. I'm insane, that's obvious. I have great friends. What's left of my family, my sister, brother, nephews and niece, et al, are wonderful. I'm w (Read More)
