It's good to have a social life again. So far I don't have a lot going on this week, but last week was pretty busy, and the weeks before were pretty busy. After such a long time as a virtual recluse, it's really good to get out and do things, to meet new people to hang out and just have fun. It's all things that are good.
I had a really good time over the weekend spending time with Jay and some of his friends in Columbus, who were all really cool. Met cool people, went to cool places, including an awesome Chinese Restaurant called China Dynasty and The Book Loft, a 32 room bookstore. Went to a party full of people I didn't know, but had a lot of fun anyway. So, it was a good test for me since I've shed my social anxiety disorder. That's going well. I didn't feel anxious or nervous or uncomfortable at all. I do find that I'm still rather quiet. There is always so much going on in my head, but most of it never gets vocalized. I think it's because I know I'm so odd, and I need to get to know people a little better before I unleash my strange thoughts and ideas. I don't think that will ever change. I know how far away from normal I am, and people never really get me. Over the course of my life, I have found that it is better to be somewhat normal, hide most of the weirdness and just let some of it out, cause I can't help letting some of it out, and then once people like me cause I'm nice, and sometimes funny, let my guard down a bit. Then they know, he's nice, funny sometimes, and very very strange. Strange guy, that Kevin.
I picked up a prepaid cell phone yesterday, so now I don't have to worry about getting stranded if my car breaks down or something. I like it. I got a good deal on it. For the price of the phone, which is 15 bucks, I picked up a bonus pack which included the phone, carry case, car charger, hands-free headset, and double minutes for the life of the phone. The double minutes alone usually costs 25 dollars to add, so I'm pretty happy with the deal that I got. I'm just going to use this until I can afford to have my Samsung Blackjack turned back on. I miss that phone. I miss carrying the Internet around in my pocket.
I'm actually kind of down on myself today. I'm not sure why. I just don't feel very likable. Well, I guess I always feel that way, usually I just don't care. But today it's bothering me. I don't know why. I'm also extremely stressed about money and finances, perhaps that's just spilling over and making me feel bad in other areas. Or maybe it's because I failed at writing yesterday. I'm set a three page per day goal for myself, and I sat there trying to write yesterday for a good while, and I just couldn't get very much done. I got a little less than one page written. I hate it when the words don't flow. I try to force it and it still just doesn't go. I need a topic, I need an idea. I think I need some light meditation. I also feel like I have so much other stuff I need to be doing. There's so much that I don't even know where to start. But I need to start. I need to just pick something and do it, finish it, and do something else. But, anyway, yeah, I'm being kind of hard on myself today.
I need to get into the weight room, that might fix me a little. I went in there last night and got a good workout. I had to force myself in there, but once I was done I was completely pumped up. I was full of energy and ready to take on the world. I just wanted to destroy something, or someone who desperately deserved to be destroyed. I think I'll do that now. First, I need to get some lunch, let it settle, head into the workout room, lift some weights, get pumped up and energized, and then get to cleaning and stuff.
I just had a very amusing (to me) mental image of a mash-up between Lord Of The Rings and Silence Of The Lambs. Gollum, as Buffalo Bill, leaning over the pit, looking panicked, it pans down to the girl holding Precious, the dog. Gollum says, "It puts The Precious in the b (Read More)
I am in desperate need of the catharsis one experiences upon slitting someone's throat with a razor-sharp blade followed by the joy and elation obtained from watching the life drift from their eyes turning them to dead, glassy orbs as I am filled with the energy that used t (Read More)
I rushed out of work at 5pm
Plopped my ass in my car again
Welcome to the land of lazyness,
hey, gotta get my rest in.
Started up the car
headed home for my free time
Look at the street and I see a really bad sign.
Traffic looks so crazy
Everybody's in my way, s (Read More)
I envy a person who can hear their alarm go off, turn it off, and get up out of bed, ready to start the day. I live by the snooze button. It is my best friend in the morning. Well, it and my coffee. I'd marry it if congress would hurry up and pass that bill legalizing m (Read More)
So, my car's wrecked, I told ya that. The bumper was precariously attached. It began to become unattached. I'll fix it with some Gorilla Glue just as soon as the snow is gone and the temperature is more moderate. For now, I removed it and placed it on my porch. So the (Read More)
The last few weeks have been kind of hectic and draining. Last Wednesday I wrecked my car. Hit a patch of ice, slid off the road, down a hill, into a pole. I wasn't hurt. The car was. I spent nearly a week with my brother-in-law trying to fix it. Had to replace the ra (Read More)
Depressed. And I'm quite tired of being depressed. There's no reason for me to be depressed. No logical reason, anyway. I'm insane, that's obvious. I have great friends. What's left of my family, my sister, brother, nephews and niece, et al, are wonderful. I'm w (Read More)
